What could cause such conflict in our peaceful household you might ask? The issue is, and has been, moving L to his own room. Months before he was born, nursery furniture was orded, walls were painted a "disney" blue, diaper genies were assembled, and in our room an adorable bassinet (It belonged to S as a baby) was set up right next to my side of the bed. The thought process was that L would sleep in our room, within arms reach of me, for the first 12 weeks of his life or so. This would ease my fears of SIDS, make it easier to get to him when he was still in the stage when he awoke several times a night, I could easily nurse him in bed, and, frankly, I just wanted him close to me.
When three month came along, I was no were even close to being ready to for L to move into his own room, but unfortunetly, L was quickly out growing the bassinet that was meant for a newborn baby.
"6 months!" I told S, "I'm sure in 6 months I will be ready! He's just to little still, he still wakes up to much, there is still a SIDS risk.... I'm not ready!"
Being the good and understanding husband that S is, he gave in, with only minimal grumblings. We retired the bassinet to storage and moved the pack and play into our room. Order and peace was restored, and mommy and baby were comforted in the fact that they were not to be seperated yet.
6 months came.
"I"m still not ready!" I cried, "Just give me another day, another week, another month! I'll be ready soon, he will be ready soon! Just not yet!"
7 months came and went. Then 8 months. Finally, last night, nine days before L's 9 month birthday, S put his foot down.
"It's time" he said. "We will take it slow. We will start with just tonight, and then maybe do another night next weekend, and go from there. This is good for him, and good for us. We need to do this"
So, being the mature adult that I am, I finally gave in. I conceded with grace. I realized and reveled in the fact that I should be proud of my little boy, that he was gaining his independence.
Ok, really, I cried. As S and I took turn feeding him before bed, tears rolled down my face.
But the good news is, as hard as it was for me, L did great. He slept through the night, he does not appear to be showing sign of distress or feeling of being abandonded. I don't think he will need therapy becuase mommy and daddy moved him to his own room to early.
And, for the recorded, I am so very proud of my little man. But it doesn't make it any easier to let go of him.