the big 2-9

Well, we are two days into me being 29..... and so far, it looks like I"m going to survive! In all honesty, despite the fact that I was pretty bummed/anxious/sad about turning 29, I had a great weekend. I had my parents in town, I had my amazing husband and my two lovely boys, and I had great friends. Really, what more could a girl ask for? But in all seriousness, this birthday did hit me hard. Something about 30  (which is next) just sounds so.... old........ to me. But it's more than that, it's also something about the road not traveled. And I want to preface what I"m about to say by saying that I love, love, love my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my boys, I love my husband and I am so lucky to be where I am.

With that being said, when your in you early 20's, and younger, there is always this sense of time. Of choice. Before you are tied down and have a family and have roots, the future is an unknown map. Maybe you will move to NYC and work for a big name magazine. Maybe you will have a loft apartment, that although is the size of a matchbox, has gleaming hardwood floors and a view to die for and a history and decorating scheme that is all your own. (Obviously, one of my dreams when I was younger.) Maybe you will back up your bag and head to Europe, working in small cafes and bookstores and spending your weekends learning french (or Italian or Spanish) and eating croissants. (another dream) Or maybe you'll spend your time in Southern California, learning to surf and doing something in the entertainment industry. You get the point. The thing is, we all dream big when we are younger. And thank goodness for that..... what would the world be like if we didn't have the dreams of our youth? But, more often then not, we all have many, many dreams and it would be impossible for every dream we have to come true in one lifetime. In addition to fashion magazines, and Europe and studio apartments I also dreamed about being a wife. About being a mommy. And I think, even if any of those other dreams had come true, but being a wife and mommy had not, that would be the dream that I truly regretted not coming true. I am living my dream life right now, the life that I often fantasized about when I was younger. The only downside is that I'm at the point in my life that , because of all my amazing blessing, I have to truly let go of those other dreams. I'm not going to be moving to NYC anytime soon (S hates crowds and he has no desire to go east), nor am I going to pack up my two kids and move to Europe. Although Southern California isn't totally out of the realm of possibility, I would be a stay at home mommy rather than an entertainment guru, and in my "old age" I've realized sharks really scare me, so surfing is probably out.

But you know what? I wouldn't trade my children and my husband and my mortgage and my looming 30th birthday for all the glamour and glitz in the world. Although it's sad to pack up those old dreams and desires, it also make me appreciate exactly where I am in my life, and all I have to be grateful for. So I welcomed me 29th, and I"m excited to see what this next year bring for me. And even though L keeps saying I'm 24, and I'm totally not going to argue with him, I think I've made peace with this birthday. Well, peace until the next birthday at least. I can't promise I won't have a major meltdown at 30!

I don't have a lot of pictures from this weekend, but the one big thing I did that I did manage to break out the  camera for was the Lozilu Mud Run on the morning of my birthday.I did this run last year, and I am now officially on my third 5K! I'm really glad I decided to do this run again, even though it fell on my birthday. Honestly, it was a great way to celebrate and to spend time with some of my best girls and to really have fun, instead of moping about!

Before the run, looking cute!

I'm feeling victorious after emerging from a horribly stinky and muddy tunnel, right before the finish line!

After the race. We are cold and muddy and smelly and sore..... but so happy to be right where we are!

Three Day Weekend and beyond!

Well, we had a busy three-day weekend, followed by a busy week! I can't believe it's almost Friday again! Trust me, I'm not complaining, it just feels like the last week flew by! (OK, maybe I'm complaining a little bit. My 29th birthday is on Saturday, and I may or may not be a little teeny tiny bit freaking out about entering the last year of my 20's!)  But besides that, I'm totes fine!

Anyway.......

We did have a busy weekend. On Saturday we did a family photo shoot that was long overdue. I realized when we were painting, and I was taking all the pictures off of our walls that we have almost all pictures of L, and hardly any of L2. And the pictures we have of L2 are all just home snapshots, while L has at least two professional shoots under his belt. Mommy guilt kicked in big time so I found us a photographer asap and booked her!

We should be getting our disk of pictures in the next week, but here is a sneak peek that she sent me!

We also had my parents come into town last weekend. It's so nice when family comes to visit, the boys love it and it's just such a nice shakeup in our everyday routine. It's especially nice when my parents come to visit because they actually have bought a vacation home here! It's literally right down the street from us, so while we get the full experience of a family visit I don't have the stress of having people staying in our house and feeling like every nook and cranny needs to by scrubbed and organized!

Our big adventure was we took both boys hiking up at the White Tank Mountains. Honestly? I have never been much of a hiker. I distinctly remember throwing fits about my parents dragging my hiking as a teenager. (Around beautiful Lake Tahoe, none the less. Teenagers are stupid, BTW.) I've always been more of a contact sport, running sort of girl, but oddly I was pretty excited for this. It was a beautiful, cool day and L actually did the whole two mile hike with no (OK, only a few) complaints!

The only downside to the hike? Well, what happens when your wonderful, adorable, oh-so-forgetful husbands forgets to pack the ergo carrier? Well, poor L2 ended up in a handcrafted "carrier" made out of S's camel pack. It was most certainly not ideal..... but we made it work.

And, finally, the last exciting part of our weekend/week? After years of me complaining about our old, hand-me-down couches that we have had since before we were even engaged, we finally got a new couch for for our family room! And I love it. It is so big and so comfy and so perfect for cuddling little babies and watching movies with handsome husbands!

Well, Saturday is the big day, so I will let you all know how turning the big 2-9 goes!

Happy V Day

Happy Valentine's Day! People seem to have very mixed feelings about this particular holiday.... you either love it or really, really hate it. I for one, love it! (But to be honest I pretty much love any holiday. If there's a reason to celebrate.... well, anything..... bring it on!) Even when I was younger and single, I liked spending the night going to dinner with my girlfriends and drinking wine and watching sappy movies. And S and I have had our fair share of romantic Valentine's Days, ones that included bouquets of flowers and jewelry and fancy dinners out. After almost five years of marriage and two children, the need to impress, or spoil, is not really there anymore, and I'm OK with that. Flowers? Sure, what girl doesn't love to get flowers, but the realistic part of me now chimes in, reasoning what is the point of spending an over-inflated amount on some roses that are going to die within the week. And Jewelry? Love, love, love jewelry. But, with a three year old and a fifteen month old I don't have a lot of occasions to wear anything fancy anymore. We still exchange small gifts, but they tend to be more practical and smaller tokens, rather than large extravagant gestures. This year I got S a small bottle of Saki and a nice polo shirt and he got me a pair of pajamas from Victoria's Secret and some really cute owl salt and pepper shakers. (FYI? love me so owls!) I also picked up a bottle of wine, made cupcakes (because, every celebration deserves some funfetti deliciousness) and cooked us  homemade "dinner" of appetizers. We played with the boys while sipping wine and munching on homemade spinach dip, veal meatballs, and fresh mozzarella bruschetta. I had thought about hitting blockbuster to rent us the traditional sappy movie, but we opted instead to catch up on the Walking Dead on Netflix. It may not be the most over the top, romantic Valentines Day ever, but honestly, it is the perfect night to me and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else!

(This was S's gift..... I realize now that it may have been a tad misleading, seeing as how it contained a polo shirt for him, as opposed to, say, some sexy lingerie!)

We are taking advantage of our gyms "dinner and a movie" program tomorrow night and dropping the kiddos off for a few hours while we go and enjoy an "adults only" dinner, so I am excited for the opportunity to go out, dress up, and who knows, maybe even wear some fancy jewelry!

And, all the grown up activities of today aside, probably the best part of my holiday is the fact that L had his first every Valentine's Day party at school! I was so excited to help him pick out the perfect Cars themed Valentines and address them to all of his new little friends  and he was so excited to show me the craft that they did! He also made me a very sweet little Valentine's Card that will definitely be going in the memory box.!

So, that was our day, I hope all of you out there had an equally as perfect day, whether it included roses and diamonds or sippy cups and Netflix! We are looking forward to a long three day weekend that included a family photo session (long, long overdue.... I realized when we painted for every one picture of L2 we have we have about ten of L!) (Also, if you schedule a photo shoot solely around the thought of getting some good  pictures of your youngest? Your youngest will, with out a doubt, get in a fight with the corner of a desk and end up with a huge cut and a swollen nose.), S having Monday off, and my parents coming in for a visit!

Happy Valentine's Day!

The joys of painting

Five years ago S and I were recently engaged with the wedding fast approaching in a few months. We both had full time, well paying, jobs. So we did what any reasonable young couple, with enough money, and in the current economy, would do. We bought our first house. We bought a foreclosure in great condition and moved in quickly (like within a few weeks). It's a fairly big house (4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, a loft, front room, and TV room) and we literally didn't even have enough furniture to fill it. But, we figured, it would all come in time. We also didn't paint, figuring once things settled down a little bit we would pay someone to come in and change all of the starkly white (and soooo boring) walls.

But one thing led to another and suddenly we had a wedding upon us, and then a few months of settling into being newlyweds. I quite my current job about six months after we moved in and found one with better hours but a slight pay cut. Then, the next thing you know, we are pregnant. (L was a very happy surprise). Suddenly, withing a nine month period, we went to being a young couple with disposable income and no real responsibility to being new parents and me going down to working part time. Then L2 came along and suddenly we had two little ones and one income. Needless to say, while we did eventually fill every room in our house with cribs and rockers and toys, toys, toys, the days of having someone come in to paint our house were far between us.

And for five years it has driven me crazy. I hate white walls. I felt like it always felt so cold, and also felt like we were renting, not owning our own home. I didn't feel any character in our house, and of our own personality poured into it. Well, we still can't afford to have someone come in and do the job for us, but we finally hit home depot, moved all of our furniture and went at it.

Here's the thing: painting is not fun. It's just not. It's seems like it might be fun. In fact, it sounds like a great idea at the beginning. And then you get about three hours in and every muscle in your body is screaming for mercy and the kids are going crazy and you realized you've barely made a dent it one room. But regardless, we soldiered on. We literally spent almost eight hours every day of our three day weekend painting. And we only got the downstairs done (three good sized rooms, but still). And despite the fact thing it was exhausting I  love love love the end result soooo much. Our house feels so much more homey now. And we steered away from the basics light beige's that are popular in Phoenix and took a bit of a risk by using a darker "greige" color called puddle on all the main walls, and a deep chocolate color for the accents. Have I mentioned I love it. I love it enough that the thought that we still have to do the stairwell, the loft, and the upstairs hallway this weekend is kind of OK with me!

So here's some picture of our work! Sorry, I know a lot of them are blurry, the were taken with my iPhone in a hurry!!!!

We will start with the "before" pictures. Of course, I didn't think to snap any before while our house looked normal! So, no, in case you're wondering, our furniture does not usually sit in the middle of the room and our kitchen does not usually look like a tornado hit (except some night after dinner!) But do you see what I"m talking about with the blinding white walls!






And some "during" pictures:

And finally, the "after"! We still need to finish re-hanging come of the pictures, but besides that the downstairs is done!

Wish us luck this weekend when we finish up the rest of the house!!!!!

L's first day of pre-school!!!!

My baby had his first day of SCHOOL today!

After a few months of going back and forth and weighing the pros and cons we decided it was time to enroll L in preschool. First of all, we want him to be as prepared as possible when it comes time for him to start kindergarten and first grade. Second, he is soooo social and we knew it would be good for him to have some structured playtime with other kids his own age. And Thirdly, we felt like we had hit a bit of a wall as to what we were able to teach him at home. We work on all the basics: colors, numbers, letters etc., but between just daily chores and activities, and chasing around a now very mobile one year old, we don't have a ton of time to dedicate to just learning.

After doing a ton of research, and touring several different options, we finally found a school that both S and I love. I knew I wanted a Montessori approach, but the Montessori school I looked at had astronomical prices, and I knew I wanted something that was structured and an actual school environment. I didn't want to put him in a place that called itself a "preschool" but was actually just a "daycare". He can play at home with me, I wanted him to be someplace where, yes, he would play and have fun, but also where he would be learning.

We finally settled on a place called Wirtzies. They practice the Montessori approach but were also super affordable. I loved all the staff and teachers that I met right away. The have a top notch security system (I hate that I even have to worry about that, but with all the school shooting and especially Sandy Hook how can you not?) But the thing that probably sold me the most was that they have an inter-generational program. Apparently this is pretty big on the east coast, but not as big on the west coast yet. Basically, there is an Adult Day Center on the same campus as the preschool and they do several (supervised) activities every week that incorporate both groups. It's basically a "grandparent" program. They have a courtyard where the older people teach the kids how to garden, the kids put on plays for their "grandparents", or they take joint classes such as art or sign language. I just think it is such a neat idea. I love the amount of joy it must bring to those older people to be around the kids, and I love that the kids are learning such important lessons from their elders early on.

So we are starting him two half days a week to start, and will probably up it to three once everyone settles into this new routine. Honestly, I was excited for him to start going. Obviously for him and all the benefits it's going to have, but on a selfish note, also for me. Two days a week to run errands or go shopping or even just go grab a quick coffee is much easier with one child rather than two, and it's also easier to cart around a one year old than a very active and opinionated three year old. So we were all totally on board with the preschool thing, and we were all excited about it. That's why I was super surprised when the tears started flowing as I walked him into the classroom and I had a hard time leaving. I went out to the car with L2 and just bawled for about ten minutes. I had been looking forward to this, but,. oh man, I missed my baby!!!!

He did fine though, which I guess is the important thing, even if it did kind of break my heart. As soon as we got to school he went to put his backpack away and headed out to play. You could tell he was a little shy at first, but he didn't have a problem with me leaving and I got glowing reports about how well he did at the end of the day.

Oh, my baby. I can't believe you're in preschool. I can't believe you are so confident that you can walk into a room full of strangers without needing me by your side. I can't believe how big you look. I love you and I missed you so much  today, but I know this is going to be such a wonderful and rewarding experience for you!

On a side note, I do plan on doing a sign like that every year, so I hope you are as excited and willing to pose by your seventh, and ninth and twelfth grade signs as you were your preschool sign. Also, I will probably cry on all of those first days too.

First post of 2013.... Finally!

**I started this post about five days ago. The first time I went to write it, my iPhone wouldn't upload the pictures I wanted. The second time we discovered that after much abuse my laptop has officially stopped functioning properly in the form of a non-working  "Q" "W" "E" and "R" key. Tonight I am stubbornly forcing myself to finish it and publish it, despite the fact that I am tucked away in the loft on our clunky old desktop, and S and L just had a dinnertime standoff that resulted in L getting sent to bed in tears with no bath or story time. (Apparently to L, sweet potatoes are the new gross.) Oh, and did I mention that L2 is headed back to the hospital at 5:30 tomorrow morning to replace his ear tubes which have already fallen out?

Besides the trying last few days (and the looming reality of having to fork out money for a new laptop) 2013 has been pretty good so far. We've laid low the last few weeks, recovering from the excitement of the holidays and trying to get back to our normal routine. L2 has started physical therapy every week in order to catch up for the time he missed when he was preparing for his surgery and in the hospital and I am amazed weekly at how quickly he is catching up. Despite the fact that he got a little behind with his surgery, you can definitely tell he is just a completely different [personality from L. L was up and pretty much running by 10 months and when he learned to do something new he took off with it right away. L2 is much more laid back about things. He is perfectly content to crawl for now and with each new skill he learns he likes to try it out a few times and slowly ease into it over a period of a few weeks. It's actually pretty funny. He's also very stubborn and if he's not in the mood to do something, he won't do it. End of story. I didn't like the idea of physical therapy at first, just because, truthfully, I didn't really like admitting that L2 had any catching up to do. Now though, I see what a God send it really is. Not only has she showed us how to push him in certain things and fun ways to teach him how to do things, she's also put my mind at rest that each kids really is different. L was super advanced for his age physically. Some kids are super advance in Vocab. L2 has been doing fine motor skill things since he was only a few months old. When they are this age and every milestone is so huge, it seems like a big deal, but our therapist has put our mind to rest that when he is two or three and running around yelling at his brother all these things I have been stressing about will seem like a distant memory.

I"ve been feeling invigorated with the start of the new year. I took a break from my normal gym routine for most of December and was only going about three times a week or running outside. I know that may not sound like taking a break, but I'm pretty strict with my gym routine and usually go five days a week for about two hours a day. But honestly, I needed a break mentally. I've always been very hard on myself when it comes to my body. As an athlete I think that is pretty common. And this last year has been hard on me, because it was freaking hard to lose the baby weight the second time around. And I was beating myself up about it big time. All my pre-pregnancy clothes fit but I've remained constantly about five to seven pounds heavier than I ever was.... and it was killing me. Like seriously, I would cry about it. And I needed to take a break from feeling that way. I needed to run outside and remember that, all the health and body benefits aside, I like running. I like sports and I like being active. I like the way I feel, more so than just the way I look. And I needed to spend more time with my boys, doing crafts and playing outside and cuddling up for movies on the couch, and remind myself that five or seven or more pounds would totally be worth these two amazing little children that I get to call me own. I think the aftermath of childbirth is hard on most women. Regardless of what diet you're on, or if you live in the gym, having a little person grow inside of your tummy changes your body and there is nothing you can do about it. And that 's OK. Like I said, it's worth it. Yes, being fit is important to me. Fitting into my size four jeans is important to me. But being healthy and being a good role model for my sons has to be more important.

OK, sorry about that little rant, but I've been needing to get how I was feeling about it off my chest. S is very understanding and very supportive, but as a man, he really just doesn't totally understand. I know you other mama's out there get what I'm talking about! Anyway, I'm back to my gym routine; running a few miles every day and doing Pilate's and this new tabata class which is killer but awesome. I"m feeling good! And the first weekend of the month I did my first 5K of the year! Me and  few of my girlfriend signed up for the graffiti run, and despite being freezing (for Phoenix) it was so much fun! I"m already signed up for a mud run in the middle of February and I'm stoked! So I'll leave you with a few pics of our race and a promise to be back soon with less rambling posts and hopefully a toddler who has developed a taste for sweet potatoes!

All White before the race!

No white after the race!

Trying to show off our team name "Color me Bad-Ass"

The whole crowd was tossing color in the air.... it was crazy and really cool looking. You couldn't even see the sky! Breathing in all the powder? Not so fun!

I"m sure the restaurant we went to afterwards for some well deserved cold beers was thrilled when we walked in!

New Years Eve 2012

Wow, can you believe we are about to say goodbye to 2012?

It's been a wonderful year, full of love and good times and also some learning experience and some tough moments that I think only ended up making me stronger as a mommy and a wife and a person.

This year:

- In January we took a long trip to Reno. My sister and her family went at the same time and we got to introduce our two newest additions to each other. Our boys got to play and we had a full house as we spent time with Grandma and Gramps. 

-In February I turned 28 (eek!) and we finally got  a new car (the Element) which I still love so much! We bought the element from my brother who had eloped in December and just moved to France with his new wife!

-In March the flu swept through our house and we were pretty much homebodies! I did up my running routine this month and ended up participating in my first 5K, the Lozilu mud run!

-In April my parents and my sister and her family all came out to visit. We took our first family camping trip and had a blast, even though camping with three kids under seven and two infants was a little scary! We celebrated Easter with the family and got some great pics of all FIVE of our kiddos together! Also in April, S and I celebrated our Fourth Anniversary!

-In May we spent a wonderful Memorial Day with good friends. We also watched as L2 started to come into his own personality a little more and our boys began to really play and interact as brothers!

-In June we celebrated Father's Day, a day that I find to be very special. Not only do I have the best Daddy in the world, I am absolutely in love with how good of a Daddy S is to our boys. June also brought on the intense Phoenix heat and we settled into the lazy days of summer.

-In July we celebrated S's 28th birthday (eek!) with another trip out to California. One of my best friends also welcomed her first son into the world.

-In August I was tested as a mother. L2 had to undergo surgery and spent several long days at Phoenix Children's Hospital. It was one of the worst things I've had to go through, watching my baby hurting, but we are so thankful that today he is as happy and healthy as ever!

-In September my oldest baby turned THREE! I'm not even sure how that is possible.We also redid our master bedroom with a new coat of paint and some rearranged furniture. September is also the month I started to abhor the heat and dream of cool, crisp fall weather!

-In October L2  turned one! I also went to my ten year high school reunion (Omg, I'm really starting to feel old!) and hosted my best friends bridal shower and bachelorette party, and in Reno! We painted pumpkins and celebrated Halloween! The boys won a costume contest at our local Cold Stone with their "Ice Cream Hobo" costumes!

-In November my best friend married a wonderful man in a beautiful, yet absolutely freezing, ceremony on a boat in Lake Tahoe. We also celebrated Thanksgiving with family in California.

-And lastly, December. My favorite month. We reveled in the holidays. We decorated and listened to Christmas carols, and watched Christmas movies, and baked and shopped to our hearts content. I watched as L finally grasped the concept of Santa. Our hearts broke with the news of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School and we participated in 26 acts of kindness to try and show our boys that Christmas is about more then presents and that the most important thing is to be kind to people. 

In 2012, we have laughed and cried. We have spend time with family and friends, and we drew on their support as we slept next to a hospital bed-crib. We learned and we made memories that will now be tucked away and cherished.

I'm ready for 2013. I'm ready to see what it has in store for us. I'm ready to rise to the challenges it brings and I'm excited to see the goodness that I know is in store for my family.

Happy New Year!!!!