Monday, February 25, 2013

the big 2-9

Well, we are two days into me being 29..... and so far, it looks like I"m going to survive! In all honesty, despite the fact that I was pretty bummed/anxious/sad about turning 29, I had a great weekend. I had my parents in town, I had my amazing husband and my two lovely boys, and I had great friends. Really, what more could a girl ask for? But in all seriousness, this birthday did hit me hard. Something about 30  (which is next) just sounds so.... old........ to me. But it's more than that, it's also something about the road not traveled. And I want to preface what I"m about to say by saying that I love, love, love my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my boys, I love my husband and I am so lucky to be where I am.

With that being said, when your in you early 20's, and younger, there is always this sense of time. Of choice. Before you are tied down and have a family and have roots, the future is an unknown map. Maybe you will move to NYC and work for a big name magazine. Maybe you will have a loft apartment, that although is the size of a matchbox, has gleaming hardwood floors and a view to die for and a history and decorating scheme that is all your own. (Obviously, one of my dreams when I was younger.) Maybe you will back up your bag and head to Europe, working in small cafes and bookstores and spending your weekends learning french (or Italian or Spanish) and eating croissants. (another dream) Or maybe you'll spend your time in Southern California, learning to surf and doing something in the entertainment industry. You get the point. The thing is, we all dream big when we are younger. And thank goodness for that..... what would the world be like if we didn't have the dreams of our youth? But, more often then not, we all have many, many dreams and it would be impossible for every dream we have to come true in one lifetime. In addition to fashion magazines, and Europe and studio apartments I also dreamed about being a wife. About being a mommy. And I think, even if any of those other dreams had come true, but being a wife and mommy had not, that would be the dream that I truly regretted not coming true. I am living my dream life right now, the life that I often fantasized about when I was younger. The only downside is that I'm at the point in my life that , because of all my amazing blessing, I have to truly let go of those other dreams. I'm not going to be moving to NYC anytime soon (S hates crowds and he has no desire to go east), nor am I going to pack up my two kids and move to Europe. Although Southern California isn't totally out of the realm of possibility, I would be a stay at home mommy rather than an entertainment guru, and in my "old age" I've realized sharks really scare me, so surfing is probably out.

But you know what? I wouldn't trade my children and my husband and my mortgage and my looming 30th birthday for all the glamour and glitz in the world. Although it's sad to pack up those old dreams and desires, it also make me appreciate exactly where I am in my life, and all I have to be grateful for. So I welcomed me 29th, and I"m excited to see what this next year bring for me. And even though L keeps saying I'm 24, and I'm totally not going to argue with him, I think I've made peace with this birthday. Well, peace until the next birthday at least. I can't promise I won't have a major meltdown at 30!

I don't have a lot of pictures from this weekend, but the one big thing I did that I did manage to break out the  camera for was the Lozilu Mud Run on the morning of my birthday.I did this run last year, and I am now officially on my third 5K! I'm really glad I decided to do this run again, even though it fell on my birthday. Honestly, it was a great way to celebrate and to spend time with some of my best girls and to really have fun, instead of moping about!

Before the run, looking cute!

I'm feeling victorious after emerging from a horribly stinky and muddy tunnel, right before the finish line!

After the race. We are cold and muddy and smelly and sore..... but so happy to be right where we are!

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