Sunday, June 30, 2013

20 weeks and our (kinda) Surprise!

Soooo...... Surprise! Well, not really I guess!

Yeah, that little GIRL we were so excited about????

Well, we are equally excited to actually be adding our third, healthy, happy, bouncing.... BOY!!!!

Lol, I've heard of this happening to people.... I'm just glad we found out now, and not at delivery! I'd hate for my son to have to go home in pink!

The truth is, I was hoping for a girl. And I was disappointed to find out we weren't having a girl. I feel guilty even typing that, but I think it's really important to be honest about these feelings. So here's the honesty: I cried last week when he said he thought he might be a boy. Like all weekend. A lot. And I think that's OK, and truthfully one thing that helped me a lot was talking to other women who had been through the same thing. Women who had had all of one gender, boy or girl, and felt like they had missed out on having the other. I think these feelings are normal.... I think S would probably feel this way if we had 3 girls and no boys! Being disappointed about not having a daughter doesn't make me love this baby boy any less. It doesn't make me not excited. Just because I felt a little sad about the baby not being a girl, doesn't mean I'm not so, so so excited about him being a boy. That might not make a lot of sense, but if you have ever been through it, I think it does. And maybe being honest about the way I feel will help someone else someday. This may very well be my last pregnancy. I don't know that for sure... I'd say it's 50/50 right now on having another.... truthfully, I need to get through this pregnancy! And even if we do have another, at this point I feel like I am probably destined to be a mommy of all boys, and that's OK! It's great in fact. Yes, I'll always look at barbies and bows and frilly dresses with a little bit of longing..... but how lucky am I to have FOUR men in my life that adore me. I get to be the princess in my house.... and I kind of love it!

And here's the weird thing about mommy intuition.... I think I kind of new. As excited as I was when they said girl, part of me never really believed it. I bought some clothes.... but really held of. I didn't order anything and didn't make any big purchases. I didn't start a blanket for her. And a few days before our last ultrasound I even said to S "I just have this feeling....." And I was right! I had a week to have a few moments of sadness, and when they showed us that he is ALL boy at my big ultrasound on Friday.... there were no tears, no sadness. No disappointment. Instead I got really excited. I started thinking about names.... and a yellow nursery with grey accent.... and I felt so much gratitude that baby looked big and healthy! Especially after going through so much with L2 lately, a healthy baby is truly the most important thing.... even if that means 10 healthy boys! (Just kidding.... no way am I going through ten pregnancies!)

Anyway, on to this weeks update! Oh my gosh..... 20 weeks! Halfway done, can you believe it! This pregnancy really feels like it's going pretty quickly.... and that's saying a lot coming from me!

How far along: 20 weeks!
Maternity Clothes: No maternity clothes, except for the occasional shirt for comfort! It's soooo hot here right now, that I am really grateful my favorite, most comfy pair of jean shorts still fits and buttons! Still up two pounds. I asked my doc if I should be concerned that I haven't really gained any weight, but he says baby is right on track so it's fine for now!
Sleep: sleeping good... feeling pretty energetic during the day, but crashing at night!
What I miss: sleeping on my tummy! And maybe a cold blue moon..... It just sounds so good in the 120 degree weather!
Exercise: Still going strong at the gym! I love love love my power yoga class.... I wish I could take three powers, but it's only offered once a week! I struggled one day on the treadmill and barely made it 2.75 miles, but for the most part am making it to 3.5. Also getting two regular yoga classes, which feel so good and are so relaxing and calming!
Cravings: The cravings are coming! I'm just much hungrier all the time. We had tacos this week and they were delicious! Also, fruit and juice, or icee drinks... mostly because of the heat I think!
Aversions: Nothing really. My appetite is definitely coming back with a vengeance! Uh Oh!
Symptoms: So many kicks are rolls these days! S can feel them finally, and you can see my tummy move when he gets going! My ribs are starting to hurt, which makes me nervous. If you remember, I suffered from excruciating rib pain with both my last two pregnancies... so much I ended up on medicine for it in the third trimester. I'm really hoping it doesn't get that bad this time.... it's awful!
Labor Signs: I've been getting lots of braxton hicks contractions, which seems a little earlier than the last two times!
Best moments of this week: Getting our big ultrasound, with our final answer! Seeing that baby is happy and healthy and growing the way he is suppose to! Starting L2 on his medicine that we are hoping answers all of our questions to his health stuff... and seeing him already reacting well to it! (Shots every night though... poor kid!) L graduating from his first swim lessons session! It was a good week!

No comments:

Post a Comment